Be Descriptive, Not Prescriptive
Have you ever noticed how most people are prescriptive when they ask you to do
something? Whether it’d be a colleague or a boss at work, or a friend, or a
parent – not enough people ask for help in a descriptive way – they rather give
you the exact steps they want you to follow in order to achieve their intended
goal.
It is so deeply ingrained in our society, even most religions are like that – at
least the three major Mesopotamian ones: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. They
are full of “do this” and “don’t do this”. This is in stark contrast with some
other religions – like for example Zoroastrianism, which only says “think well,
speak well and act well” – and leaves the interpretation for how to do that to
the individual. It’s a bit like saying “do to others what you would like them to
do to you” – which would result in very different outcomes for different people
and cultures.
Many aspects of government are like that too – take as an example the
“sentencing guidelines” for judges.
In a way, being prescriptive is an insult to human intelligence – or to any
intelligence, really. It assumes that the people who are being given the
directions would never be able to get there by themselves. In a lot of ways it
assumes that most humans are on an inevitable and permanent path of
self-destruction. It is interesting that we developed such behavior in the first
place – when none of the natural processes surrounding us, including some which
led us to where we are, have prescriptive behavior built in.
Perhaps more importantly, such behavior stands in the way of innovation and
somewhat consistent behavior in crowds, companies, religions, and citizenry.
The next time you ask someone for help – try describing what end goals you have
in mind and let that person come up with a path for how to get there. Try it
when asking a child to do something. Try it by by being honest in your
communications with customers and employees. Then see what happens…